WOMAN THROWS USED TAMPON AT DJ

A Montreal DJ has decided against pressing charges after a woman threw her used tampon at him during a set. “She said my music sucked and that I was an insult to EDM,” says DJ Bangsalot, “then she pulled out a bloody tampon from beneath her skirt and threw it at my head before running away in the crowd."

Witnesses to the bizarre tampon tantrum wrestled the attacker, 22 year old Amber Grace to the ground. “I think she was high on bath salts,” says Leanna Petitgrew, one of the people who helped apprehended Amber. “She kept screaming about having to purify the dance scene of bad music using Mother Gaia’s crimson."

Party promoters say that tampon tantrums have become increasingly common in recent years. “It’s not that DJs are constantly being hit in the face with used tampons by angry dancers,” says promoter Kyle Berlin, “but it does happen every once in a while."

Belina Murkhaus, an urbanologist who works for Montreal’s Youth Culture Centre, says that the rise in tampon tantrums is linked to internet culture. “The practice was popularized online,” says Belina. “It started as an urban legend. People posted apocryphal stories about DJs being assaulted by used tampons, which inspired a woman in Russia to do it for real. Her tampon tantrum was photographed, and that photograph went viral on the internet. Copycats then started popping up all over the place."

If it gets much worse, DJs will need to play behind glass windows, says Kyle. “We want our DJs to feel safe, but that’s hard to do if random people are going around throwing bloody tampons at them."