WHY DO BROOKLYN HIPSTERS LOVE ADULT DIAPERS?
Adult diapers are the new fashion trend that’s taking Brooklyn by storm — and leaving the rest of the world scratching its head. You can’t walk down two blocks in the homeland of hipsterdom without finding half a dozen people strutting around in diapers. “Forget Supreme, Pendleton, or Upstate,” says fashion maven Deloris Filbad, “the real style czars are Depends, Equate, and Tena. If you want to look cool in Brooklyn, you’ve got to trade in your jeans and skirts for some fashionable adult diapers.”
Brooklynite Levi Madsen enthusiastically agrees. “I used to be a total loser,” says Levi. “But then I started wearing adult diapers around town, and now women and men can’t keep their hands off me. I’ve never been this popular in my entire life. It’s amazing” Levi isn’t the only one who has seen their social lives benefit from the adult diaper fad. Darlene Ambient, a 24 year old gymnast from Williamsburg, says that ever since she’s joined the adult diaper crowd, her social life has been a non stop party. “When you walk around in public in diapers, everyone wants to be your friend,” says Darlene. “My phone won’t stop ringing with people who want to sleep with me. It’s weird.”
Fashion gurus outside of Brooklyn are baffled by the trend, but believe it’s only a matter of time before the rest of the world decides to join in the piss absorbing fun. “Aesthetically, I don’t find diapers all that interesting from a fashion standpoint,” says famed fashion designer Leonardo Guccabini, “culturally, they’re revolutionary. That’s why I’ll be working very hard to create an aesthetically pleasing adult diaper that will better reflect its value as an instrument of cultural subversion. Keep your eyes out for my next fashion show, it’s going to be a real stinker.”