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Thursday September 10th, 2015

Working class activists are organizing across the country to have Universities renamed. “They’re pussy farms,” says Marcellus Brown, a 38 year old plumber from Cornwall. “Most people who go to University turn into giant, insufferable cunts. University graduates are terrified of everything. If you disagree with them it’s harassment. If you don’t call them by their preferred gender pronoun, it’s rape. If you don’t treat them like delicate, dainty little flowers, it’s violence. We’re releasing a generation of cowardly bubble children into the world. These twenty something toddlers are physically incapable of tolerating even the slightest hint of dissent. They’ve married elitist arrogance with complete helplessness. They’re going to walk the rest of society straight into civil war, because there’s no way working class people are going to tolerate being insulted by a bunch of arrogant, yet terrified, pussies."

Marcellus co-founded the Society of Grown Ass Men to help fight what he calls the infantilization of the west. “At SOGAM, we believe that if Universities insist on turning young minds into helpless pussies, than we should just start calling Universities pussy farms. That’s what they are. A young adult enters University a human being. and graduates an insufferable whiny bitch. It’s astonishing how utterly worthless your average University graduate is these days."

SOGAM is planning to spread anti-academic sentiment across the country. “We’re working with half a dozen party promoters to organize events that are closed to University students,” says Marcellus. "We’re helping to create a new movement that is actively and explicitly hostile towards pussy farm graduates. They need to know that a growing number of people don’t recognize the legitimacy of their degree and that their time in school makes them less worthy of respect, not more."

STEM majors are sounding their own alarm about the calamitous decline in quality that’s hit our Universities. “STEM programs are being dragged down by the utter incompetence of the rest of the academy,” says engineer Luther Ludwiggens. "Not everyone who graduates from University turns into a pussy, just the ones who haven’t studied anything that can make a tangible impact on the world. It’s the humanities and the social sciences that are farming pussies. The STEM world needs to build an iron wall between itself and the rest of the Academy."

Professors specializing in classical studies share the sentiment. “The humanities have fallen a long way from their past glory,” says Dr. Paul Grimace. “In the past, before the new left invaded the academy in the 1970s, a liberal arts education grounded people in our shared human experience. Today, it does the exact opposite. Instead of learning about the awesomeness of human experience in all its majesty, students are learning how to become undignified cry babies who are completely at the mercy of the world. Your average liberal arts graduate is rootless and deracinated. They don’t identify with their society, they don’t belong to their community, and they feel to kinship to the people who have made their schooling possible: the working class stiffs who make society function. Instead, they live on a cloud up in the sky where they look down on normal people with contempt. And if we ever normal people look up at them and challenge their arrogance, these brats start crying about how they’re being harassed. The humanities are dead. We should have built an iron wall between us and the new left idiots back in the sixties. We didn’t, and now Universities have transformed into pussy farms. The STEM programs need to learn from our mistake. If they don’t stop these idiots now, they’ll take over everything. Delegitimizing the humanities by calling their programs pussy farms might help slow down their invasion."

Marcellus believes that the tide is beginning to turn. “University graduates already have a hard enough time being taken seriously,” says Marcellus. “It’s going to get much, much worse in the years ahead. Working class people are fed up. We’re tired of bourgeois students expecting us to bend over backwards to satisfy their inane demands. They academy is teaching them to attack working class people, and we’re going to meet their attacks head on. Their degrees mean nothing to us. Their political beliefs mean nothing to us. Their social values mean nothing to us. If they want to act like pussies, than we’re going to give them a pounding."
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