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Thursday July 31st, 2014

Every generation has its calling card. Baby boomers had their hippies. Generation X had its slackers. And the millennials? Well, the millennials have icebergers. The term owes its existence to the practice of iceberging, which might not be familiar to older people, but is common knowledge to the under 30 set. "It’s impossible to overstate the popularity of iceberging among young people,” says 23 year old Trevor Jones. “Everyone does it. No exception. It doesn't matter if you’re a jock or a nerd, if you're a prep or a thug, gay or straight and everything in between. If you’re under thirty, you're iceberging at least once a week. ”

So, what is iceberging exactly, the new hip thing that all the kids are crazy about? “Iceberging is when you make sex toys out of frozen fecal matter,” says Trevor. “That’s it in a nutshell. You fill a condom with shit. It could be yours, it could be someone else, it doesn't matter. Then you let it freeze. And then you have yourself a toy you can use to pleasure yourself or other people.”

Iceberging has been around for decades, according to sexologist Jenny Bertz. “People were iceberging in the nineties,” says Jenny. “In recent years though, the millennials have made the practice their own. It’s no longer just a personal activity, now it’s become a group bonding experience. Millennials love throwing parties where everyone makes, trades, and uses icebergs on one another.”

The popularity of these dirty sex parties can be seen in today’s music. “You name the genre, and you’ll find one of its artists singing about the joys of iceberging. Hip hop, EDM, heavy metal, rock, indie, they’re all crazy for iceberging,” says Trevor. "The practice is so common, that you're seeing it influence all musicians under thirty. I think in the years ahead, iceberging songs will be as common as love songs.”

Jenny says she wouldn't be surprised if that were the case. “Love and iceberging have a lot in common,” says Jenny. “At the end of the day, the practice of inserting someone else’s waste up your rectum shows a great deal of trust. It’s a kind of modern love. A way for young people to show that they believe in one another.”

Surprisingly, the practice of iceberging hasn't been condemned by doctors. “There’s some early evidence that fecal transplants might be good for people,” says Dr. Nick Waters. “They help reboot the stomachs bacterial ecosystem, triggering the growth of new, healthy colonies of microbes that causes all sorts of healthy changes in the body, creating new muscles, burning fat, and even triggering the birth of new brain cells. Students who iceberg regularly can expect to do better on tests, improve their memories, and even increase their IQ.”

Dr. Waters wasn't quite as thrilled with one of the drinks commonly served at iceberging parties. “I have, however, heard that some iceberging parties serve jenkem, a hallucinogenic drug made out fermented human waste,” says Dr. Waters. “Jenkem is bad for you. Kids should iceberg all they want, but they shouldn’t drink jenkem."
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