HUNDREDS INJURED AFTER BEEKEEPER ATTACKS RAVE
Local beekeeper Martin Reisley was arrested last weekend after he released a truck full of honeybees at an illegal outdoor rave. “Over four hundred partygoers had gathered on his land without permission, mistakenly believing it to be public property” says Sgt. Batista. “They were hoping to celebrate life, instead they got a taste of hell. Mr. Reisley could have called the police to disperse his unwanted guests, but he chose to take the law into his own hands. Canada is a nation base on the rule of law. There’s no place for vigilante justice within our borders.” The honeybee attack left hundreds of ravers hospitalized, and countless more traumatized.
Neighbours, meanwhile, are still shocked by the news. “Mr. Reisley owns this big old yellow truck that he uses to carry honeybee colonies to his customers. He’d always have this huge grin on his face whenever he was driving that thing," says Diana Beatties, who lives down the road from where the honeybee attack happened. “He always seemed so friendly. I never would have imagined that he was capable of violence. He’s always been so nice and kind whenever we talked.”
Freida Mayer, a 19 year old student majoring in misandry at McGill University, says that the attack has left her struggling with daily nightmares. “I don't know how anyone could do something like that,” says Freida. “We just want to have a little fun, to cut loose now that summer is here. We didn't know we were trespassing. He didn't even try to ask us to leave. He just showed up in his truck, opened the back door, and attacked us with thousands of honeybees.”
Freida says the mayhem that followed will always be etched in her mind. “No matter what happens, I'll never be able to forget the panic and terror I saw as the bees started attacking everyone,” says Freida. “People were rolling on the ground, crying and yelling. There was so much screaming, so much suffering, and you know what the sickest thing is? That beekeeper guy just stood there, laughing at us as we were stung over and over again. He was happy to see us suffer.”
The horrific nature of the attack hasn't stopped Martin Reisley from becoming an internet celebrity. “People on Reddit love him,” says internetologist Robert Grisham. “They’ve turned the angry beekeeper into a very popular meme. Every day, thousands of new images of him attacking people with bees get uploaded to the web. He’s bigger than doge.”