Index - About Us Register - Login
Article Listings
Newest Articles
All Articles
Monthly View
2019 April
2019 February
2019 January
2018 December
2018 November
2018 September
2018 August
2018 July
2018 June
2018 May
2017 October
2017 September
2017 August
2017 July
2017 January
2016 May
2016 April
2016 March
2016 February
2016 January
2015 December
2015 November
2015 October
2015 September
2015 August
2015 July
2015 June
2015 May
2015 April
2015 March
2015 January
2014 September
2014 August
2014 July
2014 June
2014 May
2014 April
2013 November
2013 October
2013 June
2013 May
2013 April
2013 March
2013 February
2013 January
2012 November
2012 October
2012 September
2012 August
2012 June
2011 December
2011 November
2011 August
2011 July
2010 December
2010 November
2010 October
Like Us!
Monday April 14th, 2014

Russia has condemned the American government after leaked documents revealed that Arseniy Yatsenyuk, Ukraine’s current Prime Minister, is really Richard Melville Hall, otherwise known as Moby to his fans.

“It was a clever scheme,” says Russian FM Boris Molotauve. “The Americans replaced Arseniy years ago with the CIA trained Moby. The two share an uncanny resemblance, and the Americans used this fact to their advantage.” The trove of documents reveal Moby’s unlikely journey from DJ to political power house.

“The CIA approached Moby about their intentions, promising him a future gilded in gold where he'd spend his days being hand fed only the finest vegan cuisine by a throng of nubile ravers” says Olev Olganoff, a Kremlin spokesperson. “Once they secured his cooperation, they taught him Ukrainian and then schooled him in the ways of spycraft. The results are now plain to see. Moby has succeeded in driving Ukraine to the brink of war in pursuit of American hegemonic interests. I only hope that the international community will do the right thing by condemning this utter mockery of democracy. Moby must be brought to justice, and America must pay a price for its political interference in the affairs of other countries.”

The American government has denied the veracity of the documents. "This is just another attempt by the Kremlin to destabilize Ukraine," says White House spokesman John Smith. "No matter what Russia would like the world to believe, Moby is not and has never been the Prime Minister of Ukraine."
Contact Us | Copyright (c) 2024 Rave News