BRAWL BREAKS OUT AT CONCERT OVER JAZZ HANDS
A massive brawl erupted at the plateau's La Sala Quota during a Nickelback tribute concert after some guests insisted that people use jazz hands instead of clapping. “Apparently, a lot of teenagers these days find the sound of clapping hands traumatic,” says Sam Finn, a witness of the brawl. “The noise just sends them their fragile psyches into total shock. They understandably asked everyone at the venue if they could just use jazz hands instead of clapping and whooping during the show. Jazz hands is when you sort of wiggle your hands around in the air like you’re an actor on a broadway musical."
This suggestion, however, offended several upper class white people, who told the teenagers that they were appropriating 1920s African American Harlem culture. “They called the teenagers racist,” says Sam. “They told them that they should be ashamed of themselves and that they were terrible human beings who deserved to die a gruesome death at the hands of angry mob."
The teenagers didn’t take too kindly to the comments. “The next thing you know, the teenage jazz hand advocates were punching the rich white people right in their rich white faces,” says Sam. “Then the rich white people screamed about how they were being oppressed for their political views. Then all hell broke loose."
The concert ended up being cancelled as a result of the melee. “Hands were jazzing, punches were flying, Nickelback was playing in the background,” says Sam. “It wasn’t the perfect night by any means, but I’ll be damned if it wasn’t hilarious. People getting into fist fights over jazz hands. Human beings are so ridiculous."