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Tuesday August 28th, 2012

Police arrested a 28 year old Montreal party gover over the weekend after they found him running down a Verdun street completely naked. Friends of the nude runner tell us that the man woke up in the buff on the roof of a nearby McDonald on Saturday morning, completely obvlious to how he got there, and utterly freaked out over the situation he found himself in.

"He told us he had the worse hangover in his life. He was petrified to find himself completely exposed, his clothing was nowhere to be found, and he had no idea how he was going to get out of his predicament. Worst of all? The only way off the roof that didn't involve him breaking his leg, involved him climbing down a tree that was right next to a very busy patio full of people scarfing down burgers."

Scared witless, our wrecked roof-top raver spent most of the day mustering up the courage to climb down. It would be hours before the crowds would thin out, when finally, after roasting in the sun for what seemed like an eternity, there was a brief lull in business at the McDonald's.

"At some point, the crowds vanished, so he took his chance, climbed down the tree, and ran like the wind, his dick waiving in the breeze. And apparently, climbing down a pine tree naked isn't much fun."

His bad luck didn't get improve once he was finally down. Within minutes of his descent, a police car spotted his naked and badly sunburnt arse skulking its way across the bushes that lined the street. The officers pulled over and arrested our luckless raver for public indecency.

He never discovered how he wound up naked on that roof, and his clothing have yet to be found. He'll likely have to do community service, though his friends think his ordeal was punishment enough.

"He told his how this was the last time he was ever going to get drunk, that he was giving up on alcohol, but he always says that. He'll screw up again. He always does. But he shouldn't suffer more than he already has. The only person his naked roof-top adventure hurt was himself, and it'd be wrong for the government to add to his problems. Anything more than court mandated therapy would be overkill. "
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