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Friday December 30th, 2011
RAVE-OCALYPSE NOW



Calling the 'End Of The World' is an age old tradition, recently accentuated by the ending of the Mayan calendar in December of 2012. However, cult-like groups and apocalyptic predictions have finally hit Montreal's Rave scene.

There is a crew of Neo-Ravers calling themselves The Last, who have come up with their own theory about the end of times. They re-arranged the, now popular, Mayan calculations with shifting numbers that were left out of the original equation and have determined that the apocalypse will, in fact, hit on January 1st 2012. Dave, the group's spokesperson, told us that "Their calculations left out important factors, milliseconds of time that when added up get us a number that is 11 months ahead of the predetermined date set by the Mayans". Having only realized this a few months ago, they are quickly gearing up for their final days. "Some of us have studied and participated in many different religions, groups, work-shops, theological points of view, and music scenes, and have discovered that only Raves include the basis of enlightened living; hallucinogenics, hypnotic techno, and night-time. Only because of these experiences have we been able to realize the errors the Mayans made. To think we almost missed it! We will connect on the last night, with music and natural drugs. We will become one, and be saved".

This kind of cult creation is nothing new, however this particular group has announced a dangerous event. They are putting together what they say is the final Rave, the last night to party, and in the morning all will be destroyed. "Fire cleanses us of evil. We will burn the venue, and bask in the heat that the Gods bestow upon us, rather than suffer the deep cold that they will use to punish the non-believers" says Jenn, Dave's concubine. The event is, of course, slated to take place December 31st, 2011. They are naming it after themselves: The Last.

Only a handful of people actually follow this cult, but many are trying to create awareness, as they see their friends on the 'attending' lists on various Internet pages for the event. "I don't think Ravers really know what this party is about" states Robert, a Rave promoter in Montreal. He goes on "I see people I know that want to go, and I have to send them all messages, warning them that this is no joke, not some cool theme. These people really plan on killing themselves". Ravers have never called the Police for anything, but some are considering getting the law involved. "It's just insane" says Robert, lighting a smoke with a shrug. "Unfortunately, with all the New Year's Eve parties going on, some people have been sucked into the trap, smoke-screened by the sheer amount of activities in the city, and others might follow".

When asked about the consequences of their actions in the case that The Last might be wrong, Dave answered "We're right, we know we're right. We're more connected to the Earth than anyone else, and it's telling us it's the end for humans. You don't believe me? You will suffer then" With that, the interview was over. This situation has occurred around the globe on many occasions, the most famous being the Jonestown Massacre. None of these suicide cults have ever been right, and everyone is pretty sure that The Last are no more informed that any drugged out Meth-head or religiously-blinded person might be in thinking about such things. The Last think themselves mathematicians and theologians, but not one of the crew has any more than a High School Diploma. They also act as though Raving holds all answers, spoken to in trances - by what we know is their own subconscious. But, Ravers know that Raves are just supposed to be about music and having a good time. Immolation does not seem like a good time.

We normally don't editorialize, but as a public service, we ask you all to avoid this event; avoid getting brain-washed by these dangerous misinformed individuals, and go out and have fun on New Year's Eve. The Earth and all it's inhabitants will still be here on January 1st, guaranteed.

The Ravers who cry wolf will probably not be around when the real deal hits town.
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