RUNNING WITH SCISSORS
A heartbroken raver went off the deep end this weekend when she spotted her former honey at a party, arm in arm with a new woman. The sight of this buxom goddess of the gothic persuasion draped over her ex-boyfriend made our love lorn lass lose her cool. She grabbed a pair of scissors from her tote bag and began chasing her rival in love around the room, desperately trying to give the girl a new and not at all fabulous hairdo.
This mad diva tossed her scissors when they proved ineffective, and decided that in order to get her revenge, she'd have to amp up the crazy. She got her mittens on a bottle of bleach that had been tucked away in a broom closet, and ran towards her sworn enemy like a kamikaze pilot, launching her makeshift chemical weapon at her black clad foe. Not only did she ruin her adversary's expensive threads, she also ruined those of a group of innocent bystanders. Bleach splattered and smattered half a dozen people.
The party gods could not abide this woman's unfestive behavior, so they kicked her out of the party. The crowd was stunned by the nutty antics they had witnessed, and the chattering masses spent the rest of the evening talking about nutty ex-lovers, stalkers, and creepers.