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Tuesday June 5th, 2018

Internet nihilists have spent the weekend crowing over the sudden burst in popularity of overdose parties, suicidal events that they have long tried to meme into existence. They finally succeeded, as over two hundred people across ten different cities died on Saturday after attending these drug fuelled engines of self-annihilation. “I am so happy that people are finally coming around to my world view,” says 24 year old nihilist Denis Rien. “Life is a joke. What’s the difference between dying and living, between experiencing meaningless events and not experiencing them? None of this matters. Overdose parties are perfect reflections of how pointless everything is. I can’t wait to die in a futile cocaine powered haze.”

Memologist Vira Lemieux of the New York Institute For Scientific Reasoning believes that these parties will increase in popularity as time goes on. “These are basically suicide pacts on steroids,” says Vira. “The events consist of gatherings of ten or more people who keep consuming a variety of drugs until their bodies simply stop working. It turns suicide into a group activity that’s cool and hip. It’s transition from an internet joke to a real activity is worrisome. The cat is out of the bag now. There’s no going back. Overdose parties are here to stay.”

Vira thinks that the internet is largely to blame for the existence of these destructive events. “The internet has a way of stripping the world of meaning. The more time people spend online, the more likely they want to kill themselves,” says Vira. “I think it was inevitable that heavy internet users would start binging on drugs like death crazed demon worshippers. If anything, I’m surprised that it took this long for it to happen.”
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