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Monday December 24th, 2018

Police rescued a woman on Saturday who was being chased down the streets of Montreal by her knife wielding boyfriend. This terrifying incident took place shortly after the woman told her partner that she would rather go to a psytrance party than watch Rick and Morty with him. “Her decision infuriated the man,” says Sgt. Irma Cornichon. “He was desperate for her wubba lubba dub dub, and her refusal to give it to him caused him to suffer a psychotic break with reality.”

The man grabbed a butcher’s knife from the kitchen then chased her out of their apartment and down several city blocks, jumping over garbage cans, dogs, and even small children in pursuit of her. “Thankfully, the woman was able to slow him down by criticizing Rick and Morty. Every time she insulted the show, he paused in his tracks and started crying, which gave her time to put some more distance between her and her attacker.”

Police arrived at the scene of the chase within minutes and quickly put a stop to it. “We had officers nearby who were able to respond to the attack before anything serious happened,” says Sgt. Cornichon. “Unfortunately, we doubt this will be the last time such a scene happens in Montreal. We ask all adult men to remember that cartoons are for children, and that you shouldn’t chase after your girlfriends with butcher knives if they’d rather do something more age appropriate, like drop DMT at a psytrance party, than watch a kid’s show with you,.”
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