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Tuesday August 28th, 2018

Police arrested an Etobicoke man for child abuse after receiving anonymous reports that he had forced his daughter to become a Psytrance DJ. “This was definitely one of the most horrifying cases of child abuse we’ve ever encountered,” says Officer Dale Biggins. “The dad in question had pulled his daughter out of school in order to subject her to an inhumane psytrance education. The young girl was forced to listen to techno every waking hour of the day, and would have to analyze the music in extreme detail which she would later be quizzed on.”

The young girl would be forced to take DMT whenever she failed an exam. “He’d wear these weird fertility masks while she was on DMT, then he’d yell at her about machine elves,” says Officer Biggins. “Needless to say, she end up experiencing things no one should ever have to go through.”

When the father wasn’t torturing his daughter with powerful hallucinogenic drugs, he was forcing her to produce psytrance music in Logic. “Sometimes, when he was feeling particularly mean, he’d make her use Fruity Loops,” says Officer Biggins.

The young girl produced over five hundred psytrance songs for her father, many of which ended up on home made CDs that he would sell in front of Toronto head shops and health food stores. “The psytrance CDs that this man sold on the sidewalks of Toronto were the product of cruel child labor,” says Officer Biggins. “We’re happy we managed to save this girl, but we’re worried that their might be more children like her. Little boys and girls who are being forced by their parents into making techno music. Techno based child labour is a problem few people know about, but it’s very real, and very sad.”
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