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Wednesday May 25th, 2016

Montreal Mayor Pierre Mangepatate has announced that the days are numbered for RaverCab, the city’s controversial party car service. “Montreal is a very tolerant city, but even we have our limits,” says Pierre. “We are busy writing up a new city bylaw that, once in effect, will make driving for RaverCab a crime. We expect the law to be in place by the end of June.”

RaverCab has earned both plaudits and criticism since it blasted on to the crowded ride sharing app scene last year, promising patrons of the ubiquitous cab service rave inspired taxi cab rides. “RaverCab is like Uber, but with cocaine and dubstep,” says the company’s founder Felix Tabemasu. “When you use our service, you know you’re in for a fun drive. It’s sad that so many stuffy politicians are hell bent on shutting us down. We just want to make partying on the road more affordable. Is that such a bad thing?”

RaverCab fans are upset with the mayor for targeting the service, claiming that Montreal has far more important problems it should be tackling. “What’s the big deal?” asks 18 year old Pierre Gellé. “I’d rather the mayor deal with our pot hole problem instead of trying to ban a company that offers citizens of Montreal several things they crave: cocaine, dubstep music, and convenient travelling.”

Protests against the mayor’s new bylaw are planned at the end of May. “I hope our fans gather at city hall and let the mayor know how unhappy they are with his decision,” says Felix. “Long live coked out cab rides home! Long live RaverCab!”
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