Some people collect comic books, others collect stamps, but for some rich deviants, it’s all about collecting different kinds of drugs. A growing number of millionaires -- and even a few billionaires -- are spending vast fortunes scouring the world for unique strands of drugs. “There’s a huge drug collector community,” says Sgt. Destro Colins of the SPVM. “These are mostly affluent people who spend a lot of money buying drugs that they have no intention of consuming. Instead, they put them on display in jars that they places on shelves in their drug dens.”

One fabulously wealthy man, who refuses to be named, says he started collecting drugs after he realized that collecting video games was too easy. “I used to collect old games before I was rich,” says the millionaire. “However, once I made my first million, I was able to complete my collection of mint in box nintendo games in a matter of days. It was so easy, it wasn’t fun anymore. Before I’d have to scour thrift stores and garage sales looking for rare pieces, but with a fat bank account, all I had to do was log on to eBay and buy everything I wanted. That’s why I started collecting drugs. It’s a lot harder buying rare and exotic strands of MDMA or marijuana than it is buying rare video games. There’s more skill involved, more risk, more adventure.”

Other millionaires echoed that sentiment. “I collect rare strands of psilocybin,” says an anonymous Silicon Valley tech titan. “I have an entire room full of these wonderful little mushrooms, all of them displayed in custom made mahogany boxes that have lids built with sapphire glass. They’re beautiful. When you step foot in my magic mushroom room, it feels like you’re entering a magical dimension full of endless possibility. Collecting exotic drugs offers the kind of high that mundane collecting simply can’t compete with -- and I’m talking from experience. I used to be a baseball card collector, but that was positively boring compared to traveling the world for new psilocybin samples.”

The police are cautioning rich people not to get carried away with their drug collecting hobbies. “We want to tell them not to do it,” says Sgt. Colins, “but the fact is, the law doesn’t apply to rich people, so it’s not like we’d ever arrest them even if they were caught.”