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Wednesday March 2nd, 2016
DJ WHO CAN’T STOP BUYING DILDOS HOSPITALIZED



DJ Gavinnes was hospitalized over the weekend after he had a dildo induced seizure, say close friends who asked to remain anonymous. “Gavinnes just started going over board with his dildo and anal bead collecting,” says the source. “He picked up the hobby for fun a few years ago, but something snapped in his brain after his boyfriend dumped him last fall, and soon he was spending every last waking minute of every day scouring the internet for more sex toys to buy.”

The source claims that his compulsion to buy sex toys became all consuming. “He stopped eating food, he stopped showering, he stopped going to parties and playing music,” says the source. “All he ever did was buy more dildos and anal beads. Every single day. He’d just order them by the dozens. His entire apartment was full of them, sometimes up to the ceiling. It was the weirdest, scariest case of hoarding you could possibly imagine.”

According to the source, when DJ Gavinnes wasn’t busy buying dildos and anal beads, he was busy cataloging and organizing them. “Sometimes he’d just lie on his bed caressing them like they were human beings,” says the source. “I tried helping him, all of his close friends did, but he told us he didn’t need us in his life as much as he needed his dildo and anal beads and he cut off contact with us.”

His friends grew concerned after they didn’t hear from him for several weeks, so they went over to his apartment where they discovered him on the floor, convulsing as saliva dripped from his mouth. “It was absolutely horrible. Just tragic.”

Psychologists say that hoarding is a mental illness that can come in a variety form. “Some people hoard used candy wrappers, other people hoard sex toys,” says Dr. William Penfield of the Westmount Abornmal Psychiatry Clinic. “What happened to DJ Gavinnes is only shocking because he chose to fixate on sex toys instead of something more mundane. In the end, what we hoard doesn’t matter nearly as much as we hoard, and I hope people who become familiar with this case keep that in mind.”
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