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Tuesday March 1st, 2016

You can’t walk down the streets of Montreal right now without bumping into a woman clutching one of Vivica Johnson’s ass purses, the year’s break out fashion hit. Vivica, a Mile End based purse maker, has been crafting quirky handbags for over a decade, but didn’t hit the big time until her distinctive puckered sphincter design caught the eyes of the internet last Christmas, propelling her into the upper echelons of haut couture overnight. Today fashionable women from Amsterdam to Zimbabwe are clamouring for an ass purse of their own, hoping to wow onlookers with their provocative sense of style.

“It’s a been a crazy ride,” says Vivica. “I’ve sold over ten thousand ass purses since Christmas. There’s a huge backlog right now as I struggle to find manufactures to help me get them into the hands of buyers.” The popularity has taken Vivica by surprise, who is busily moving from her current studio to a large factory in the old port. “I can’t wait to be able to ship these babies out. I think I’m going to make a lot of women happy.”

Vivica claims she was inspired to make an ass purse after growing jaded with the fashion industry. “The fashion world is 100% unadulterated bullshit,” says Vivica. “And that’s why I designed my ass purse. The fashion industry spends millions and millions of the dollars trying to get women to buy their bullshit. They lie to us through ads, they manipulate us through magazines, they trick us into running inside a never ending hamster wheel. Every season fashion changes, and they try to convince us to buy the latest new releases. It’s all crap. All of it. My ass purse is a giant fuck you to fashion industry. Fashion is bullshit, and when you wear one of my purses, you’re letting the world know you don’t care about keeping up with the taste makers of Paris and Milan. By carrying around a puckered anus purse, you’re telling all these snobs that you think they’re full of shit.”
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