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Thursday February 25th, 2016

Men’s rights activists from across the world will be descending on Montreal next May for the city’s first Racist Furry Convention. John Wiggleson, the founder of the convention, said he wanted to help introduce Montreal to it’s community of loathsome bigots in a fun and exciting new way. “Most people don’t know that nearly three quarters of all MRAs are racist furries,” says John. “They love dressing up as anthropomorphic animals who hate yankees and women with a feral passion. Unfortunately, MRAs are shunned by the public which I think is unfair. That’s why I’m hosting this convention, because I want to introduce the public our warm and fuzzy brand of bigotry, which has less cross burning and more miffing.”

Clay Kloplop is a long time racist furry from the suburb of Dorval who says he can’t wait to attend the RFC. “It’s very hard being an MRA in Montreal, since you can’t go around wearing your confederate flag themed furry outfit without getting into trouble,” says Clay. “I just want to be openly proud of my MRA status, and this Racist Furry Convention is the thing I needed to come out of the closet to tell the world that’s i’m a proud MRA. I hate my mom and i’m going to take that hatred out on the world, and that’s okay!”

Clay’s mom, Darcy Kloplop, doesn’t share his glee. “I should have aborted the bastard when I first found out I was pregnant,” says Darcy. “Instead, I now have to live with the ignominy of having raised a son who is so utterly broken, he’s joined a weird cult of women hating racists who dress up like cartoon characters. What have I done to deserve this? Why does god hate me?”

Nothing, says MRA specialist Grace Witkins. “Every society has it’s fringe weirdos who engage in harmful behaviour,” says Grace. “Ours has to put up with sexually frustrated grown men who dress up like fascist teddy bears, which is probably better than dealing with armed gangs of violent marauders. It still sucks though.”

Tickets go on sale soon!
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