Index - About Us Register - Login
Article Listings
Newest Articles
All Articles
Monthly View
2019 April
2019 February
2019 January
2018 December
2018 November
2018 September
2018 August
2018 July
2018 June
2018 May
2017 October
2017 September
2017 August
2017 July
2017 January
2016 May
2016 April
2016 March
2016 February
2016 January
2015 December
2015 November
2015 October
2015 September
2015 August
2015 July
2015 June
2015 May
2015 April
2015 March
2015 January
2014 September
2014 August
2014 July
2014 June
2014 May
2014 April
2013 November
2013 October
2013 June
2013 May
2013 April
2013 March
2013 February
2013 January
2012 November
2012 October
2012 September
2012 August
2012 June
2011 December
2011 November
2011 August
2011 July
2010 December
2010 November
2010 October
Like Us!
Monday February 22nd, 2016

Hamish Dorée, the owner of Montreal’s famed clothing retailer Les Gros Beau Vestes, has publicly admitted that his twenty year heroin addiction is the reason behind his business success. “Heroin has a really bad reputation,” says Hamish, “but if you use it responsibly, you can easily double your work productivity. The reason that my business has done so well was that heroin enabled me to push through when things were getting hard to handle.”

The successful retailer says that whenever life threw him a curve ball, he’d curl up with an eight ball of heroin and everything would be right with the world again. “Running a business is very hard. It’s a tremendous responsibility that involves the livelihood of your employees and the wellbeing of their families,” says Hamish. “A lot of business owners buckle under that pressure. I never had to worry about that, though, because whenever I got stressed out, I just pulled out a spoon and a needle and chased the dragon for a bit. When you get high on heroin, it’s like you press the reset button on your stress levels. This frees you up emotionally to refocus on your business.”

Hamish doesn’t understand why more business owners aren’t getting high on heroin. “I think MBA programs should teach all their students about the benefits of taking heroin,” says Hamish. “If all the CEOs in America had a heroin habit, we never would have suffered through the recession of 2008. Bernie Sanders should add a plank to his platform that promises to forcefully inject all CEOs with heroin on a daily basis. That’s what America needs right now. More heroin for business leaders will lead to a healthier, more equitable economy that everyone benefits from. Just ask my employees! I’m a good boss because I’m a high boss.”
Contact Us | Copyright (c) 2024 Rave News