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Monday September 21st, 2015

Montreal’s Butt Creek Festival has drawn rave reviews from party goers, many of them calling the event a breath of fresh air. “The Butt Creek Festival is forcing the city’s night life mandarins to reconsider the way they organize events,” says Butt Creek organizer Joe Smorgasvine. “We’re bringing a new aesthetic, a new theory of art, to the party scene that I think other promoters can’t ignore. "

Joe calls his theory of art The Butt Creek Ethos. “Partying is all about sexual gratification,” says Joe. “I’m not saying that people go to parties just to have sex. No, what I mean is that that sexual drives are what make the party scene go round. It’s our urge to merge to which compels us to make music, to host events, to gyrate on dance floors. Thanks to Freud, we know that sex drives have three gears: genital, oral, and anal. Most nightlife scenes in the west overemphasize the importance of genital and oral motivation while minimizing our anal desires. The Butt Creek Festival flips this dynamic on its head, and makes anal pleasure its central motivating force."

The design and structure of the Butt Creek Festival was inspired by the famous scientist Asad Bamali, who published a study last month that showed how anal sex improved human hearing. “After Bamali released his study, I organized a bunch of parties that incorporated this knowledge. I started renting out vibrating butt plugs to party guests to help them really connect with the music, and it worked surprisingly well. Anal penetration increases music appreciation. The thing is though, anal penetration can be dirty. Really, really dirty. After renting out hundreds of butt plugs to anal happy ravers, I realized that a lot of them needed to take much better care of their assholes. That’s why I’ve organized The Butt Creek Festival, the first rave/anal hygiene hybrid event."

The Butt Creek Festival offers guests dozens of anal hygiene therapies. “We’ve got the best bidets in town, we have spa treatments that’ll make your sphincter glow, we even offer anal bleaching services and salad tossing on demand. That’s not all, we also give out the best enemas money can buy. Coffee enemas, mountain dew enemas, regular old enemas. At a Butt Creek Festival, you’re asshole is going to be treated like royalty — and once you’ve cleaned it out, your ears will thank you when you hit the dance floor."
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