Liberals are going crazy over the latest political trend to hit the conservative world: cuckolding parties. “They are such a blast,” says vegan rights activist Kevin Derlinger. “If you’re a vegan rights activist who has ever fantasized about fucking a conservative right in the mouth, you’ll love their cuckolding parties. You just show up and the conservatives will let you abuse their bodies. You can do everything to them! I once gave a conservative M.P a dirty sanchez. It was great. Conservatives love watching liberals fuck other conservatives. It turns them on."

Conservatives, who are naturally submissive and enjoy being sexually degraded, say that cuckolding parties have really helped their political movement get back in touch with their core beliefs.

Republican strategic Harlin Brogue organized the first conservative cuckold party last spring. “I really wanted to plumb the depths of conservative irrelevance,” says Harlin. “We’ve been ceding moral ground to the left for decades now, and I think at this point,
we should just accept the fact that conservatives have always had a thing for being publicly abused and degraded. We might as well accept who we are and embrace our true nature publicly. We should just bend over and let everyone have their way with us."

Harlin says his cuckolding parties will help conservatives come to grips with their total and utter worthlessness. “At a conservative cuckold party, we get to cheer on as liberals literally fuck us in the face. We just sit there and watch as our right wing allies and friends are sodomized and beaten by progressives. When you abolish your need for self-respect and a sense of dignity, you open yourself up to an entirely new world of sexual possibilities. We might as well enjoy ourselves if we’re going to let the left walk all over us."

Some conservatives are concerned by the rise of political cuckolding. “I admit that conservatives do have a thin for public humiliation,” says Republican Senator Vidya Jones. “but instead of celebrating the fact that we enjoy being insulted and abused by liberals, maybe we should work on our self-respect. I think letting our political opponents exploit us sexually isn’t the healthiest thing for us to do."

Harlin disagrees. “The future belongs to progressives, and it’s our duty as submissive conservatives to bend over and obey our social betters,” says Harlin. “Basically, being a conservative today is not all that different than being in a 24/7 BDSM relationship. Liberals are our Gorean sex masters. We are their bitches, gagged and bound for their personal pleasure. We will all be so much happier once we recognize that, deep down, we’re meant to be the sexual playthings of progressive Doms. Conservatives are natural sex slaves that god designed for the pleasure of liberals. We have to embrace that truth, otherwise we’ll never find inner peace."