YOUNG MEN ARE GOING CRAZY FOR TRAMP STAMPS
Millennial men are waging all out war on masculinity, and many of them have decided to embrace the tramp stamp as a symbol of their battle against manhood. Every day, hundreds of men decide to get an emasculating tramp stamp on their lower back in order to symbol to the rest of the world that they’ve given up on being men.
“It’s odd,” says tattoo parlour owner George Freewall. “I’ve been in this business for decades now, and over the last ten years, the kind of tattoos men get has really changed radically. Tramp stamps have rocketed to the top of the most desired tattoo for men. In second place are butterfly tattoos on ankles. Judging by which tattoos are popular, I’d say we have successfully transitioned from a patriarchal society to a matriarchal one. Women now rule, and men are their bitches."
23 year old University student Joseph Brown agrees. “I didn’t learn much in school,” says Joseph. “I’m scientifically and culturally illiterate. I can barely read and I write at a third grade level. Schools failed to teach me a lot of things, but they succeeded in convincing me that being a man is a terrible thing. I hate myself and that’s why I got to a tramp stamp. I want to erase my masculinity and become a woman."
Many women are becoming increasingly frustrated with the feminization of men. “If I wanted to fuck a woman, I’d become a lesbian,” says Tracy Hatman. “But these days, it’s nearly god damn impossible to find a man who has still has balls attached. Our schooling system has really neutered our men. Feh, at this point, I hope Russia conquers the West so I can finally meet men who still have some hair left on their chests."
Other women, though, are huge fans of the emasculating of men. “I can’t wait until men and women are completely interchangeable,” says intersectional english feminist Mary Cobwebbs. “It’ll be great when everyone in our society belongs to a giant androgynous blob where gender differences have been erased and men and women have been smothered to death beneath the weight of the bourgeois academic left. Men embracing tramp stamps is a step in that direction. Kill the masculine, kill the feminine, and embrace the divine truth of our academic prophets, whose holy texts declare that gender is a construct. To deny this truth is to blaspheme before the mother goddess and her apostles, a sin that must be punished with everlasting shame and ostracism. All hail the glories of the Academy, our one true church, and the heart of moral strength. Hallelujah!"