NDP PROPOSES ‘TEMPO TAX’ IN THEIR PLATFORM FOR UPCOMING ELECTION
The federal NDP announced today that if elected, they would seek to implement a progressive tax on high tempo electronic music. The proposal, which was met with a mix of skepticism and support, would tax venue owners and party organisers based on the average BPM of the music played during their events. While many people are familiar with the concept of a carbon tax, the idea of a BPM-based tax has never been brought up by any political party before.
Suzanne Pinko-Schultz, MP for the electoral district of Medicine Hat, described the tax as “... a way to fund public services by making it more expensive to throw the kinds of events that play the most damaging genres of music.” She added, “It’s well-known that the health risks associated with raving increase as the speed of the music increases. Brain damage, neck injuries, hearing damage, twisted ankles, drug overdoses, all of these are more likely to occur as tempos increase. Taxing these venues based on these scientific facts just makes sense. It’s about time we woke up and realized what this music is doing to our community and did something about it. Hopefully, these increased costs will force DJs and promoters to think about the damage they’re doing to the planet and the people that live on it.”
Conservatives have already begun to comment publicly on the proposal, describing it as “misguided”, “foolish” and “some wacko communist nonsense”. Richard Knobb, economic strategist for the Conservative Party, was quoted telling a room of Tory supporters, “The economy is doing fantastic under the Conservatives. To even think about raising taxes, let alone creating a new tax, just makes me sick. I seriously want to puke. Increasing taxes during a time of prosperity just diminishes people’s motivation to succeed financially, which hurts the economy. It’s simple economics, but the New Democrats would rather have you believe that paying more taxes is somehow beneficial to you. If there’s such a thing as a good reason to raise taxes, I haven’t heard it.” A supporter in the crowd shouted out, “Right on! Why should I have to pay more just because I like drum and bass!?”, to which Mr Knobb responded, “I don’t know what that is.”
Danny Alvarez, a spokesperson for the recently formed DJ union DJ Direct Action, wrote in an open letter to the NDP: “...a tempo tax will unfairly and disproportionately affect fans of certain genres such as hardcore, speedcore and gabber, who are already among the most disenfranchised people in our society. The average speedcore DJ is already well below the poverty line, and now they want to extract more money out of them just because of the music they happen to enjoy? Just take a look at the people on a gabber dancefloor. Do they honestly look like they have any room in their budget for more taxes? Do you think it’s reasonable to take more away from those who clearly have so little?” Debra Drevor, a recently suspended NDP MLA, appeared to disagree with the sentiment of the letter, tweeting, “if u have money 2 spend on gabber, u clearly have 2 much money. it’s time for you to pay your #fairshare”.
Ravers have reacted to the proposal with disapproval and harsh words for the NDP. Longtime junglist Mike Crustington told Rave News, “It’s a bunch of bullshit, is what it is. I’m not going to pay for this shit. Those clowns can tax it all they want, I don’t even care. I won’t fucking pay it. You can lock me up and I’ll still skank the fuck out in my jail cell. I’ll be throwing up gunfingers with Martha Stewart and Wesley Snipes before I let them take any more of what’s rightfully mine.”