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Tuesday May 12th, 2015

Quebec is aflutter amid rumours that former Prime Minister Pauline Marois is seriously considering a career as a Psytrance DJ. “I have it on good authority that Mme. Marois will be donning a set of headphones in the near future in order to indulge her one true passion, mixing trippy beats,” says Montreal psytrance promoter Yoga Biddleson. “It’s a little known secret, but I heard that Marois has always had a deep appreciation for the dark arts of beat matching."

During the 1990s, it’s alleged that Mme. Marois traveled throughout Europe hopping from one outdoor rave to another. “A friend of mine says she spent a summer tripping balls in Goa,” says Yoga. “Just dancing her ass off to authentic old-school psytrance."

That’s not the only time she spent in Goa claims her unofficial biographer, Vlad Depardieu. “My investigations suggest that Marois discovered her passion for Quebec independence after taking mushrooms in Goa during the fall of 1986. She was listening to Kraftwerk when she fell into a trance that opened her eyes to the true potential of the Quebec nation. After that, she didn’t want to just establish Quebec as a country in its own right, but to establish it as the first country on earth to full embody the spiritual values of techno music. Techno has a deep and beautiful religious tradition that many modern ravers aren't aware of, but Marois isn't a modern raver. She was among the first. She was there at the dawn of the techno age, and she made communion with the EDM gods."

Marois was a savvy politician however, and never made her intentions explicit. “No one would have taken her seriously had they known she was a techno loving Goa fiend,” says Vlad. “She kept that part of herself hidden as she climbed up the ranks. Now though, she has nothing left to lose, so she might as well enjoy the rest of her life spreading the Goa Gospel."

Many Quebecois can’t wait to hear her play. “I’m really looking forward to what her DJ name will be,” says Yoga. “I bet it’ll be something really cool."
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