GROUND PARTIES COME TO MONTREAL
Ravers who are tired of dancing while standing have cause to celebrate — in a few months, Montreal will be hosting Ground Fest, the world’s first ever ground party. “Standing is overrated,” says event organizer Edsel Andrews. “We wanted to shake up the party world by bringing it back down to earth. At Ground Fest, people are forbidden from dancing while standing. Anyone who break’s that rule will be kicked out with extreme and possibly violent prejudice. If you want to get your groove on, you’ll have to do it by lying down and wriggling on the ground."
Tickets for the event have already sold out, as party goers hungry for something different bought them up in record time. “I think it’s a fantastic idea,” says 32 year old fluffer Luke Magnon, “the most enjoyable activities already involve lying down. Sex, cuddling, being beaten by the police, none of those involve standing up. People complain that parties haven’t evolved, so it’s always nice when someone tries something different. I’m excited to experience raving from an horizontal perspective. What does dancing feel like when you’re on your back? That’s a question I look forward to answering."
Edsel says the idea for Ground Fest came after witnessing an online video of a man in Goa who danced like a manic while lying flat on his back. “He looked like he was having so much fun,” says Edsel. “And I thought, you know, we should try that in Montreal. We should try dancing without our butts ever leaving the ground. Let’s shake our asses, not in the air, but in the dirt."
Since no one has ever organized a party quite like Ground Fest, no one knows what to expect. “I’m pretty sure there’s going to be a lot of sex,” says Luke. “After all, if dancing is a vertical expression of an horizontal desire, as Robert Frost claims, then what happens if we just jump right to the horizontal position?"
Edsel says if the party if a success, she’ll organize more. “I’d love to have an outdoor ground party during winter,” says Edsel. “It’d be like snow angels, techno, and frostbite all mixed together into wonderful mix."