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THE 4 PERKS OF BEING A MONTREAL DJ
Mickeen Magazine recently released it’s annual “Best Jobs in Canada List”, and the top honour went to being a Montreal DJ. This was a first, but it’s not a surprise to people who have been following the EDM scene’s rise to prominence in La Belle Province.
“Being a Montreal DJ is more than just a job,” says trance DJ Buzzlebourke. “It’s a way of life. The biggest shock isn’t that Mickeen Magazine decided that being a Montreal DJ was the best gig you can get in Canada, but that it took them so long to come to that conclusion.”
Mickeen, one of the oldest magazines in the country, has been releasing it’s Best Jobs list every year for the last three decades. “It took them that long to see the light,” says DJ Buzzlebourke. “I think english Canada can be a little slow to get hip to what’s happening in Montreal.”
So why is being a Montreal DJ such a great deal? To find out more, we’ve asked four different DJs in town what their favourite part of the job is.
1 - Montreal DJs get free poutine whenever they want, wherever they want
“It’s a little known secret,” says electro DJ Rabastaba, “but Montreal DJs get a lifetime supply of free poutine from the city of Montreal. Montreal values it’s nightlife, and in order to promote homegrown EDM, they started their TechnoPoutine program, which guarantees that DJs never starve in this city. They get fat on cheese and gravy.”
2 - Montreal DJs are sex gods
“Being a DJ in Montreal gets you laid like crazy,” says nitzhonot DJ Tonohzitn. “It’s almost like a super power. It doesn’t matter if you want to sleep with men or women or everything in between and beyond. Being a Montreal DJ is the ultimate aphrodisiac. It’s better than being a billionaire. I once had sex with fifty people in one day. It wasn’t very good sex, but I just wanted to see if I could do it. I could. So can you, if you become a DJ.”
3 - Montreal DJs get paid in golden age comic books and cocaine
“I’ll never forget the first time I played a gig in Montreal,” says house DJ Heumanix, “when the promoter went to pay for me, he gave me five kilos of cocaine and an original copy of Action Comics #1. That was the best night of my life. I now own eight original copies of Action Comics #1 and so much cocaine that I can build a family of snowmen out of it."
4 - Montreal DJs are immortal
“The number one reason for becoming a Montreal DJ,” says DJ Feinbaum, “Is that it grants you eternal life. And i don’t mean just feeling like you’re never going to die because you’re so high on all that cocaine promoters keep giving you. I mean, the moment you spin in a Montreal club, you stop aging. Your skin doesn’t wrinkle, your hair doesn’t go grey, your flashes never go hot and menopause never kicks in. You just remain timeless. Forever.”
With perks like these, it’s no wonder Mickeen decided that being a Montreal DJ was the best gig in town.
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