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Tuesday December 15th, 2015

34 year old drug addicted male escort Gary Bonalucchi has spent the last month yelling at pedestrians on St-Denis about the sexual benefits of whippets and computer dust cleaner. “I was struggling with my erections until I discovered those two things,” says Gary, “and now they’ve revolutionized my ability to sexually service men and women. I just want all the men in the whole world to know that they don’t need viagra to get rock hard cocks that never go limp. They just need to take some whippets and computer dust cleaner products. Boom. Their penis will thank them.”

Henry Julian, a 57 year old architect who bumped into Gary during one of his street sermons, says he’s a convert. “My sex life has improved by leaps and bounds since I started supplementing my diet with whippets and computer dust cleaner products. My wife says it’s like i’m an entirely different person in bed now. It’s not just the fact that my erections improved, but it’s the confidence that goes with that which has really changed things for me. I used to feel emasculated by my impotence, but now my whippit powered steel penis makes me feel like Conan the Ravager. If you’re a guy who is worried about your penis under performing in the sack, don’t despair. There’s hope out there.”

Gary says his street sermons have helped countless people improve their sex lives. “Many people are surprised that the insane ramblings of a drug addicted male escort street preacher could help them become better lovers,” says Gary. “And that just goes to show you, you never know who will help your penis reach its full potential.”
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