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Tuesday August 18th, 2015

Montreal golfers are seeing red after ravers turned several city golf courses into make shift toilets. “Every single golf hole at Notre Dame's Great Green Course had raver faeces in it,” says groundskeeper Wilson Hogue. “Every. Damn. Hole. And I know it’s ravers who did it, because we have them on film crouching over those holes."

Apparently ravers across the city are sneaking on to golf courses late at night to throw dance parties. At the end of the event, the ravers scatter across the course and defecate in as many golf holes as they can find.

“I have no idea why they’re doing it. I mean, what possesses people to organize an event that ends with shitting in a golf hole?"

William says he’s happy that the ravers aren’t damaging the fairway, but he still finds having to clean up raver shit unpleasant. “I think it’s annoying that part of my job now involves cleaning up after ravers. It’s not like it’s the millionaires who play golf who down there cleaning up those holes. No, it’s me."

William isn’t the only groundskeeper that’s had to sully his hands with raver feces. “Every single golf course in Montreal has been hit by defecating vandals,” says golf enthusiast Michelle Brown. “I’m not even sure how they’ve managed to elude being captured. These ravers are dedicated. They’re well organized. They take shitting on golf courses very seriously. Imagine what they could accomplish if they spent all their time on something constructive instead of on these weird guerrilla poop parties?"
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