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Friday May 16th, 2014
POISONED POUTINE KILLS PARTY PROMOTER



Montreal’s party scene was dealt a terrible blow last week after veteran EDM promoter Eddie Labedaine’s lifeless body was found in his Plateau apartment. “I hadn’t heard from him in over a week,” says long time lover Naomi Trump, “so I knew something was wrong. We text every other day, so when his messages stop coming, I got very concerned. I convinced his landlord to open the door of his apartment for me, and that’s when we discovered him.”

Eddie’s body was face down in a plate of poutine. “He loved poutine,” says Naomi. “He ate it every day. Sometimes he’d eat poutine twice a day. He was always trying out new types from different restaurants. It was his second biggest passion after house music. His dream was to open up a club that served poutine along with a side order of phat beats.”

Police believe that Eddie died from botulism after eating a batch of rancid poutine. “We’re not sure if Mr. Labedaine was deliberately poisoned,” says Sgt. Morgan. “The case is still ongoing. We are currently not at liberty to discuss the details of this unfortunate, as we have yet to rule out foul play.”

Many ravers are convinced that he was murdered. “No one dies from eating poutine,” says professional beat inspector John Godwin. “No one. It’s never happened before. Someone poisoned him. Whoever stole Eddie from us needs to be caught and punished.”

Poutine makers across the city will be holding a weeklong vigil in honour of one of their most lucrative customers. “Every poutine restaurant in Montreal will be serving up a dish in honour of Eddie Labedaine,” says Noah Pardieux, who owns the famous La Marquise restaurant. “Eddie might have died, but his love of poutine will live on.”
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