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Like Us!
Wednesday July 2nd, 2014
MAN TRAVELS WORLD THROWING RAVES IN WARZONES
FEATURED ARTICLE



Phil Kraken has spent the last decade traveling around the world, throwing increasingly decadent raves in countries that have been ravaged by war and revolution. “I don’t even know why I started doing this,” says Phil. “In 2003, I was visiting family in Georgia when the Rose Revolution broke out. My cousins and I helped organize a huge party after Shevardnadze resigned as president. It was such an epic night, everyone was so happy. After that night, it was like a button got flipped inside my brain, and I’ve been addicted to to revolutionary raving ever since.”

There isn’t a revolution that hasn’t been touched by one of Phil’s raves. “I’m a war tourist raver,” says Phil. “I like to travel to countries that are in the grips of civil war or that are revolting against their governments. All that tension, all that chaos, all that emotion, it’s intoxicating. An unravelling society is the perfect setting to drop some fat beats and get your groove on. There’s something about revolutions that electrify people. You really can’t compare dancing to Skrillex in Libya while machine guns are blasting and people are dying to say, swinging your butt around in the safety of a New York club where you know you won’t be violently oppressed by a mad dictator. Unfortunately, partying in the west is just too safe. Raving needs to be dangerous — it needs to celebrate human autonomy in the face of coercion.”

A lot of people are unimpressed with Phil’s hobby, and consider his parties to be grossly indecent. “He’s making a mockery of human suffering,” says ethicist Noella Ward. “There’s nothing quite as obnoxious as a rich white guy traveling to war torn countries with the expressed intention of having fun
while people around him die.”

Phil things his critics are missing the point. “It’s not about making light of their problems,” says Phil. “It’s about celebrating the spirit of defiance that you can only find when people stand up to power. Right now, the revolutions are all happening in poorer countries, so that’s where I take my raves to. I just threw an awesome party in Kiev, during their recent protests. And we all had a great time. I think my raves are therapeutic. Not only do they take people’s minds off the madness around them, they also keep their morale up so that they continue their struggles with lighter hearts.”

Noella remains unconvinced. “At the end of the day, Phil is still exploiting people. He can put lipstick on a pig if he wants, but it’s still just a pig. No matter how he dresses up the issue, he’s not going to escape its ethically dubious merits.”

Phil disagrees. “I like to think that all the revolutionary raves I’ve thrown so far have been practice for the real show — for when Americans become so fed up with their own government, that they take it down. The parties i’m throwing are all leading up to that event. The beats are going to hit America so fast and so hard, that none of the revolutionaries will want to back down. I’m going to keep their morale up with MDMA and EDM.”

Critics think Phil might be delusional. “He’s an idiot,” says Noella. "He should see a therapist."
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