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Like Us!
Thursday August 21st, 2014
SHOULD RAVERS COLONIZE THE MOON?
FEATURED ARTICLE



Ravers in Montreal have gathered for first Galactic EDM Conference, a gathering of party promoters, music DJs, and party goers from around the world who are serious about colonizing the stars. “We believe that there just isn’t room for PLUR on planet earth,” says conference organizer Chad Chadwick, “And instead of struggling against the dominant cultural realities that plague our own planet, we should just start over somewhere else.”

The idea that ravers should colonize the stars isn’t a new one, but it’s picked up steam in recent years as more and more businesses start treating space colonies seriously. “After Elon Musk promised to land a human on mars, we realized the time to act was now,” says Chad. “We believe that ravers need to organize and start their own country, and the easiest way to do that would be to colonize the moon. ”

Participants at the Galactic EDM Conference will spend the weekend discussing ways to raise funds, build rockets, and organize politically to make their dream of establishing a moon colony a reality. “Just imagine a a country where raver ethics are the norm,” says Chad. “A country where PLUR isn’t just an idea, but a founding ideal baked right into the constitution. That’s what we’re aiming to accomplish.”

Many people think that Chad and his cohorts are starry eyed dreamers, but that hasn’t deterred them. “We’re realistic enough to realize that we’d never be able to create our own country on this planet without resorting to violence,” says Chad. “The lord knows we can’t just ask people to let us start our own country. We’re all been born into political systems we had no hand in crafting, and those systems are incredibly difficult to change through peaceful means. Colonizing the moon might sound unrealistic, but in thirty years it won’t be, and what we’re doing is laying the ground work so that we’re politically and financially ready for the technology once it matures. Ravers will have their own country on the moon. It’s going to happen.”

Surprisingly, several politicians are supportive of Chad’s ambitions. “I’m okay with sending all the drug addled party kids to the moon,” says Conservative MP Bailey Darthmouth. “I think it’s a win-win situation. The ravers get their own country, and we get rid of the ravers. I can get behind that plan."
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