MAN TRAPPED IN TOPPLED PORTA-POTTY AT OUTDOOR PSYTRANCE PARTY
Jake Travis, a 24 year old topiary and herbal tea specialist from NDG, was the victim of a vicious prank at Divine Insight, last week's psytrance extravaganza. "I was partying with a couple of friends, when I decided to go the washroom," says Jake. "I found a porta-potty, but the moment I sat down to use it, something started pushing against the plastic walls of the toilet. I think it might have been a truck or a tractor."
The mystery machine pushed the porta-potty until it toppled over, sending its contents splashing all over Jake. "I fell face down, the door towards the ground. I couldn't get out, and all the crap in the potty splattered all over me," says Jake. "It was bad. Some of it got into my mouth, which caused me to vomit, and whenever I'd stop heaving, my gag reflex would act up and I'd start puking all over again."
Jake spent several hours trapped inside the toppled porta potty. "I kept yelling and banging on the walls, but the other people at the party didn't hear my pleas, or if they hear them, they didn't care."
Ellen Thibeault and Yuval Douglas, the two friends that Jake attended the party with, both say they didn't even notice he was gone for the first few hours. "We were both high on krokodil," says Ellen. "And when you're on krokodil, the world sort of fades away."
"When our buzz finally came down, we realized we hadn't seen Jake in awhile, so we set out to find him," says Yuval. The intrepid duo scoured Divine Insight's outdoor grounds. "When we heard him banging on the porta potty, we both freaked out." The two party goers immediately set out to find help, and with the aid of half a dozen ravers, managed to flip the porta potty over so that Jake could escape his foul smelling prison.
No one knows who knocked over the porta-potty. "Whoever did this to me, I hope karma catches up with them. I spent three hours covered in feces and urine," says Jake. "I didn't deserve that. No one does. It's inhuman."