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Thursday March 28th, 2013
BDSM CLUB ACCUSED OF SEXISM IN KOSHER HUMAN TOILET SPAT



John Spanner, the head of Canada's Human Rights Court, says he's never seen a case quite like it. "It's unique, that's for sure. This case is a perfect example of how progressive our country is." says John. "It highlights the tension that currently exists between sexual equality and religious freedom. If a sex club employs a human toilet, can the toilet's religious beliefs be used to determine who can and can't piss in its mouth? That's what the HRC has to determine in the month ahead."

The trouble started when Jeanette Lachance attended the Red Curtain BDSM sex club last January. "I've been a patron of the Red Curtain for years, but the club was sold recently, and Charles Darnakov -- the new owner -- decided to renovate," says Jeanette. "He replaced the regular toilets with human toilets, coprophiles and urophiles who enjoy being dehumanized. Which is cool, I'm down with that. The problem is, Alex Rothstein, the toilet I got, was a devout Jew. He told me I couldn't piss in his mouth if I was menstruating, because that wasn't kosher. I don't have a problem with religious people, but if they're going to work as a human toilet, they shouldn't be allowed to discriminate against women just because they're menstruating. If they won't let everyone piss in their mouth, they should get another job."

Charles Darkanov disagrees. "My employees have total discretion over who can and cannot urinate on them. They might work as human toilets, but they're also human beings," says Charles. "My human toilets have values, beliefs, and morals that are strictly their own, and the Red Curtain has a strict policy that consent is the bedrock of human sexuality. You don't come to a sex club and piss on someone if they don't want you to piss on them, even if that's their job. I should also point out that the Red Curtain employs five human toilets, and Jeanette could have waited until one of the other four were available. She didn't have to pee on Alex."

Jeanette, however, says that's beyond the point. "We live in a secular society," says Jeanette. "Your religion doesn't give you carte blanche to discriminate against people at will."

Alex Rothstein, for his part, says the whole issue is ridiculous. "You know, I think Jeanette is kind of overreacting," says Alex. "She's suing me because I didn't let her piss in my mouth. That's pretty weird."
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