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Like Us!
Friday March 22nd, 2013
HIGH ON GOD AND CRYSTAL METH
FEATURED ARTICLE



Savour the Saviour, the latest rave thrown by promoter Tom Christos, is winding down. Dozens of his followers huddle around him. "We like to make sure he's well taken care of," says Julie White. "We've waited thousands of years for Jesus to return, and now he's back."

Tom Christos, a tall, long haired white man in thirties, claims to be the son of god -- reincarnated as a hard living, drug loving party promoter. "It used to be that only ravers followed Tom," says Randy Bergman, a sociologist who studies cults. "In the last few years, however, Tom has widened his appeal. You have people who've never been to a rave who believe in his divinity."

One unlikely convert is Nadia Abilshair, a 75 year old grandmother who joined Tom's cult last year. "My grandson, Tom bless him, told me that Jesus had returned. I didn't believe him at first, but the moment I heard him talk, it was like hearing angels sing. I knew in my heart that he really was Jesus returned." Nadia now spends her weekends selling bottled water at Tom's holy parties.

The heaven sent party promoter claims that he learned of his divine origin when he was a young child. "My dad brought me to a sacred village tucked away in a remote corner of rural Quebec," says Tom. "A small place that isn't marked on any maps, populated by the descendants of the knights templar. I was barely five years old when my father lead me to that town, brought me to the center where all the villagers had gathered."

Tom says his father pointed to a giant slab of stone that had a sword stuck in it. "My dad told me to pull it out. I did. Effortlessly. That's when all the villagers got on their knees and started to pray. At the time, I didn't know what was going on. That night, there was a huge celebration, and the mayer of this secret village told me that I was very important, and that I would be trained in the mystical arts of Christian ninjitsu."

Tom claims he was enrolled in a school run by Christian assassins who could trace their lineage back to the twelve apostles. "Right before Jesus died, he gathered his apostles around him in a cave deep in the hills of Judea," says Tom. "Jesus then unsheathed a sword he said had been forged in heaven, which he then inserted into the ground. He told his apostles that one day, he would return to take the sword, which he would then use to wage war on those who had sin in their hearts." Tom says that the apostles were tasked with safeguarding the swords. Months later, after Jesus died, they founded a secret league of holy warriors.

"These warriors guarded the sword for centuries. In 1703, they brought the holy blade to New France, where it remained until I pulled it out." Tom says he was trained in the art of Christian warfare. "I was taught the seven deadly arts of the Antilegomena," says Tom. "Eventually, I became disenchanted with my military training. When I was 20 years old, I knew how to kill a feral wolverine with my bare hands, but I didn't know what it felt like to kiss a girl. My teachers wanted me to smite the unworthy, but I just wanted to dance. I dropped out of assassin school, became a promoter, and moved to Montreal."

Tom won his way into the heart of Montreal's rave community within days of arriving. "Tom would hang out at my place every Friday," says Dave Littleman, a happy hardcore promoter. "He'd show up in his white tunic, starry eyed, his hair a tangled mess. He always acted like he was high. Because he was. He was high on God. And crystal meth. But mostly God."

Tom threw his first rave with Dave's help. "I leant Tom my sound system, which he used at a small outdoor dubstep party in the forests of Verdun. That party was out of this world."

It was such a hit, some ravers called the experience spiritual. "After Tom threw his dubstep party, he started getting a lot of followers. Or disciples, as he calls them," says Dave. "And who can blame them? When Tom throws a party, it does feel like God's out there dancing with you."

Tom says he's much happier being a promoter than he was being a divine assassin. "I might be Jesus reincarnated, but I've done my time. I already died for your sins, now I want to live for my sins. This whole end of the times fire and brimstone business just isn't for me. I'd rather listen to dubstep and get high."

Now Tom's disciples spread his gospel at parties across the city. "Tom is God, and God wants you to dance," says Julie White. "That's a religion anyone can get behind."
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