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Thursday January 24th, 2013

Fashion designer Jennifer Beaudoin draws stares wherever she goes thanks to the giant bagel shaped bulge protruding from her forehead. "I just love how it looks," Jennifer says. "I love standing out, I love being the centre of attention, and bagel surgery is a fast and easy way to turn heads."

The bagel head look is created by injecting a saline solution into a person's forehead. Eventually, their skin will swell up, giving the appearance that a delicious donut has been permanently affixed to their head. "The best part about bagel injections is that they only last a couple of days," says Jennifer. "It's cheaper than getting a tattoo, and you don't have to worry about being stuck with it for the rest of your life."

The bagel injection process takes about two hours. "It's a very relaxing experience," says Toshi Kero, a Japanese cosmetic surgeon who recently opened up a practice in Montreal. "We've been doing saline injections in Japan for the last ten years. The process is safe, it's fun, and a lot of people find it sexy."

Many young Montrealers find the bagel head look irresistible, including psytrance promoter Daniel Doors. "I've started throwing bagel head parties. Anyone who's got a bagel head gets in free," says Daniel. "Having a bagel head electrifies your third eye, and activates your ajna chakra man. That little injection of saline not only makes you look better, it makes you see the world better. If you're a hippy, you should definitely get a bagel head at least once in your life. Preferably while on a shrooms."

Toshi Kero doesn't necessarily agree with Daniel Doors ideas. "The bagel head is a simple cosmetic flourish. It's like a temporary tattoo," says Toshi. "It won't give you super powers, and as far as I know, it won't activate your chakra system, which has never been scientifically proven to exist. You should get one because you like how it looks, or because you want to try something different, not because you're expecting a transcendent spiritual experience that will allow you to escape the bondage of physical reality. That's not how it works."

Daniel Doors disagrees. "He's just saying that because if he tells you the truth, the government will shut him down," says Daniel. "Saline injections will electrify your soul and make you one with the universe. All hail the cosmic bagel head, purveyor of divine truth and spiritual bliss."

Contact your local cosmetic surgeon if you're interested in saline injections.
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