Index - About Us Register - Login
Menu
 
Article Listings
 
Newest Articles
 
All Articles
Monthly View
 
2017 October
 
2017 September
 
2017 August
 
2017 July
 
2017 January
 
2016 May
 
2016 April
 
2016 March
 
2016 February
 
2016 January
 
2015 December
 
2015 November
 
2015 October
 
2015 September
 
2015 August
 
2015 July
 
2015 June
 
2015 May
 
2015 April
 
2015 March
 
2015 January
 
2014 September
 
2014 August
 
2014 July
 
2014 June
 
2014 May
 
2014 April
 
2013 November
 
2013 October
 
2013 June
 
2013 May
 
2013 April
 
2013 March
 
2013 February
 
2013 January
 
2012 November
 
2012 October
 
2012 September
 
2012 August
 
2012 June
 
2011 December
 
2011 November
 
2011 August
 
2011 July
 
2010 December
 
2010 November
 
2010 October
Like Us!
Thursday April 11th, 2013
DUBSTEP PROMOTER KILLS SON FOR HAVING SMALL PENIS
FEATURED ARTICLE



Notorious Dubstep promoter Duval Lacrosse was arrested over the weekend after he murdered his 9 year old son Marcel. The promoter was worried that his son's small penis would jeopardize his ability to live a rich and fulfilling life as an adult, and decided to spare him the torture of inadequacy by drowning him in a bathtub.

The promoter told the police that his son had been born with a micro-penis, and that every year, it seemed to shrink a bit. "He was very upset with his son's equipment," SPVM spokesman Jean Legrand told Ravenews. "It weighed heavily on his mind." Friends of Duval agreed that his son's penile problems concerned him a great deal. "I'd be playing at his parties, and he'd just keep tapping me on my shoulder telling me about how small his son's dick was," says Regis Kirkland. "It was really weird. No one deserves to die because of something like. Duval's an idiot."

Duval's obsession with penis size was well known to Montreal's rave scene. "He'd sell penis pumps, cock and ball stretching devices, and weird herbal penis enlargement pills at all his parties," said Nathan Duvillion. "The last party he organized was called Big Rods. Duval was obsessed with cocks, and he thought having a man's self-worth was measured by the size of his dick. I never would have thought he'd kill his son for having a small penis though. It just goes to show you, you can party with a guy for years, but that doesn't mean you know what kind of person he is. That dude you spent all that time dancing with might one day drown his son in a bathtub for having a micro-penis."

Duval's ex-wife, Natasha Desmoines, was inconsolable. "Marcel had his whole life ahead of him," said Natasha. "I don't know what I'm going to do. My life is empty without him."
Comments
Contact Us | Copyright (c) 2017 Rave News