BUSTED: RAVER SLAVERS ARRESTED IN HORRIFYING HUMAN TRAFFICKING CASE
Jasmine Baldwin and Eric DuFresne have both been arrested in what police describe as a horrific Raver enslavement ring. "We discovered a terrifying scene Friday afternoon when we busted into a club owned and operated by Baldwin and DuFresne." said Officer Wrigley. "Hundreds of ravers, all of them chained to the wall, many of them in a state of undress, being prepared for shipment across the world."
The criminal pair had been kidnapping ravers at parties for over a decade. Dancing teenagers would be drugged, only to wake up to a terrifying new reality: as chattel for the slave trade. "They've been doing this for fifteen years. They'd set up camp in one city, kidnap between a hundred to two hundred ravers, and then move on to the next city. Thankfully, one raver managed to escape her chains late Thursday night by calling on the power of dance."
The escaped raver, Marcel Marteau, said it was miracle. "I woke up naked, my legs and arms bound, with a giant man in a gimp mask looming over me. Just as he was about to do some awful things to me, I started humming a Skrillex song, beatboxing to dubstep, and I don't know why, but it was like the strength of the universe just channeled through me. Suddenly, it was like I had superhuman strength. The adrenaline rushing through my body gave me the power to break free from the rope that had bound me. I punched the gimp in the face, knocking him out. I ran out so fast. It was a pure rush. I found a police officer, I brought them over, and they freed all the other ravers."
The police found Jasmin Baldwin and Eric DuFresne passed out in a back room, their faces covered in a thick layer of cocaine. "Every night after they were done violating ravers in preparation for their new lives as slaves, they had a ritual where they would just bathe themselves in coke until they passed out," said Wrigley. "It's a both a miracle and a shame that their coke habit didn't kill them."
Montreal ravers can now breathe easy. With the raver slavers behind bars, party goers are much less likely to be drugged and kidnap, although officer Wrigley warns partiers from being complacent. "We arrested those two criminals, but there are other predators out there, licking their lips at the thought of enslaving ravers. Be vigilant, be smart, and if you suspect anything, call the police and let us know."