HOMELESS DJ GETS $500 HAIRCUT
Gatineau born chiptune DJ Jerome Depardieux has been living on the streets for the last month, eating out of dumpsters and sleeping in alleyways as well as the occasional couch. His fall into itinerancy has nothing to do with being broke. Depardieux makes enough money off odd jobs that he can afford to pay for food and rent, but instead to spending his cash on what most people consider basic necessities, he spends it all on looking good.
He's the best dressed bum in Montreal. His monthly dreadlock haircut ran him over $500 alone. He has his clothes professionally cleaned and pressed, which he stores in a locker at a downtown gym where he showers and shaves. He spent $250 on a pair of running shoes hours after munching on a half eaten bagel he found in a garbage can on Park Ave. His friends can't wrap their heads around the choices he's been making.
"I think he might be having some kind of nervous breakdown. We keep trying to help him find an apartment, but he refuses to listen to us. Instead of buying food or paying rent, he'd rather spend his money fixing up his hair or getting flashy clothes. We don't want to let him sleep on our couch either, because we think he'll never leave if we let him stay. We want him to grow up and get a grip on his priorities."
Depardieux, for his part, is unrepentant. "My friends are over-reacting. Yolo, you know. You only live once. And I don't want to live my life looking like shit. Everywhere I go, people look so drab, so boring. Me? I stand out. I look like a movie star. When I walk down the street, people turn their heads. They want to look like me. They want to be me. There's power in being gorgeous. Food, rent, all of that? It's overrated. When I die, I'm not going to regret living on the streets, but I would regret not looking my best, because if I don't look my best, I can't be my best."