Index - About Us Register - Login
Menu
 
Article Listings
 
Newest Articles
 
All Articles
Monthly View
 
2017 January
 
2016 May
 
2016 April
 
2016 March
 
2016 February
 
2016 January
 
2015 December
 
2015 November
 
2015 October
 
2015 September
 
2015 August
 
2015 July
 
2015 June
 
2015 May
 
2015 April
 
2015 March
 
2015 January
 
2014 September
 
2014 August
 
2014 July
 
2014 June
 
2014 May
 
2014 April
 
2013 November
 
2013 October
 
2013 June
 
2013 May
 
2013 April
 
2013 March
 
2013 February
 
2013 January
 
2012 November
 
2012 October
 
2012 September
 
2012 August
 
2012 June
 
2011 December
 
2011 November
 
2011 August
 
2011 July
 
2010 December
 
2010 November
 
2010 October
Like Us!
Thursday November 24th, 2011
FULLY DISFUNCTIONAL
FEATURED ARTICLE



Any marginal person will tell you that they believe in DIY, do it yourself - save some money, fight capitalism, damn the man. Make your own soap, create your own music, throw your own party. Some things, however, are better left to the professionals.

A crew of neo-hippies based in Montreal, with ties to communes in British Columbia, have decided that it would be best to circumvent the gang controlled drug providers by making the drugs themselves. After learning the processes for manufacturing drugs on the internet, and some from 'enlightened' oldsters in their entourage, they made several batches of LSD, Ecstasy, Speed, 2CB, and Ketamine. Calling themselves Funktion Motors, they sell these home-made drugs at a fraction of the price, which these days is, ironically, already low. One of their crew members, Paul Creud, told us that "We make highly effective substances with recycled materials, and legal plants, that will take you to a much higher state of consciousness than any other dirty pill these gangsters try to sell you. It's great!".

However, they almost immediately faced many problems and dangers. The worst being the health issue. Many of the ingredients are cheap replacements for the usual ones, some are ineffective, some too effective, as well as some combinations of which are already on the FDA (Food & Drug Administration) banned list. We asked Funktion Motors for a full ingredient list and recipe for each different drug, but were refused.

After their first night of partying with these drugs at a large festival, there were 3 over-doses, fortunately non-lethal. One person was rushed to the Hospital after suffering a mild heart-attack. A dozen people broke out into fevers. "Well, of course some of the process involves trial and error, and some people must've just bad-tripped 'cause they weren't listening to the right music - no fault of ours" said Paul during a phone interview. "Dude, we're making substances that are much purer and more natural than the gangs do, so people have to learn to dose themselves, man". When asked if their clients were warned of the drugs' alternative origins he responded with "We write our logo on the baggies, so people should know already. Anyway, what's there to warn about? That our stuff is more awesome and environmental?".

Obviously the biggest opposition to this DIY drug manufacturing comes from the mafias and bikers, those who own the trade. Several of Funkion Motors' bases of operation have been subject to arson and vandalism. A few of FM's clients were beaten. An anonymous employee of the Hell's Angels told us that "The bosses are more than a little pissed off. Who do these fuckers think they're dealing with? They're gonna get eradicated". A short pause from him, followed by an unreasonably reasonable statement, "Listen, yeah people think that we're the evil ones providing people with illicit substances, but we wouldn't be in business if people didn't want it. Anyway, sure we cut our drugs, but fuck, we want people to survive their trip so that they come back and buy more. Makes sense? But these hippy dicks don't know what they're doing. They're gonna get innocent kids killed. I'm not talking about the addict who does too much Heroine, I'm talking about some party-goer dying from a small dose".

Despite all the set-backs, Funktion Motors says that they'll continue making and testing their drugs until they find their own alternative to the black-market; until they successfully enlighten their fellow ravers for a dollar less.

Need to call an ambulance? Do it yourself.
Comments
Contact Us | Copyright (c) 2017 Rave News