Index - About Us Register - Login
Menu
 
Article Listings
 
Newest Articles
 
All Articles
Monthly View
 
2017 October
 
2017 September
 
2017 August
 
2017 July
 
2017 January
 
2016 May
 
2016 April
 
2016 March
 
2016 February
 
2016 January
 
2015 December
 
2015 November
 
2015 October
 
2015 September
 
2015 August
 
2015 July
 
2015 June
 
2015 May
 
2015 April
 
2015 March
 
2015 January
 
2014 September
 
2014 August
 
2014 July
 
2014 June
 
2014 May
 
2014 April
 
2013 November
 
2013 October
 
2013 June
 
2013 May
 
2013 April
 
2013 March
 
2013 February
 
2013 January
 
2012 November
 
2012 October
 
2012 September
 
2012 August
 
2012 June
 
2011 December
 
2011 November
 
2011 August
 
2011 July
 
2010 December
 
2010 November
 
2010 October
Like Us!
Monday November 21st, 2011
JESUS CHRIST RUINS BIRTHDAY PARTY



ST-HENRI — Friends of shaggy haired psytrance addict Nathan Laurier were lost for words after he informed them that he was the son of God, Jesus Christ, reborn in Montreal for the sole purpose of waging holy war against the forces of Satan.

Nathan told his friends of his divine lineage on Friday night after snorting an unspecified amount of ketamine while attending Jonathan Duchene's birthday. Party goers took Nathan's godly claims in good humor at first, but when Nathan realized that they weren't taking him seriously, he became agitated and started yelling at them.

"He kept insisting that he was Jesus and that Nostradamus had prophesized his birth" said Jonathan. "It was messed up. I thought he'd gone crazy. He started yelling at people and throwing things. My brother Alex gave me a giant Yoda statue as a gift for my birthday, and Nathan chucked it at my head. I barely dodged it. He was mental."

Jennifer Faubert, who has known Nathan for years, agreed. "I'd never seen him act that way before. It's like something snapped inside his head. He just kept rambling about how the Vatican had been training him since birth in preparation for armaggedon, and that if we didn't believe him, he'd send us all to hell."

Nathan's girlfriend, Louise Guidon, was equally shaken. "I've known him for five years, and I've never seen him like that. He really thought he was the son of God. He told me that everything I knew about him was a lie, and that he wasn't really a high-school drop-out from Gaspesie. That was just a cover story. He told me that in reality, he had spent his teenage years studying at several secret Vatican ninja camps, learning Christian ninjutsu from the Templar Knights. I really need to break up with him" she said, and then winced. "But I'm worried he'll hurt me when I tell him we can't be together."

The night's rampage came to an end when Alex punched Nathan in the face. "He broke Yoda. No one breaks Yoda and gets away with it." said Alex. "Nathan ran out of the apartment, blood and tears streaming down his face," added Jonathan."it was messed up."
Comments
Contact Us | Copyright (c) 2017 Rave News