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Wednesday October 27th, 2010
THE ACID COLA INCIDENT



Last June, a well connected event organizer was gifted a large sheet of top quality LSD. The chemist responsible for this magic paper knew his stuff -- Timothy Leary would be proud of his work. The sheet of paper had two hundred hits of the potent mind bending stuff on it, which made for a marvelous summer of psychadelic fun. Every Friday, the promoter would call some friends over to his place to drop acid and watch some old movies from the 1980s.

There was a regular circle of three revelers who would drop by his place for Acid Fridays -- his girlfriend, her best friend, and an old high school friend. Occasionally, a couple of random people would drop in on the fun. And it was fun... Until the promoter spilled a bottle of coca-cola over his sheet of LSD. For reasons unknown, the promoter, who has no background in chemistry, became convinced that the cola had weakened the LSD, and that from now on, the only way anyone would get high is if they quintupled their doses.

The night he made this radical decision, he and his girlfriend were too busy arguing with each other to get high. They decided dropping LSD wasn't a good idea if they were in a bad mood. His girlfriend's best friend had to leave early for a work emergency, so she also avoided the ten hit drop. This left his friend from high school, and a random guy that the promoter had met at a comic book store earlier that day -- a young 17 year old anime nerd who had never once done drugs in his life. Not even marijuana.

The two guys dropped their acid, and proceeded to lose their minds.

What happened over the course of that night is open to some debate, though the outcome isn't: a woman was robbed, and drugs were flushed down the toilet.

At some point in the night, the promoter's high school buddy and the anime nerd both decided that they were trapped in hell. The Anime nerd, in order to protect himself from the demon's who were out to get him, locked himself inside the bathroom.

The high school buddy, meanwhile, was convinced that the only way to break out of hell is if he seperated the promoter from his girlfriend. He thought they were the demon gatekeepers of the netherworld, and that they derived their power from being together. He grabbed the promoter's girlfriend by the hand, and dragged her outside. Unfortunately, the girlfriend didn't realize that this guy was bad tripping, and decided it was a good time to have a heartfelt conversation about how unhappy she was with her boyfriend. The high school buddy, who thought he was dealing with a demon god, couldn't understand why she was asking him for relationship advice. He demanded that the demon god pay for his cab ride home, and when she said she had no money, he dragged her to a bank to take out forty dollars to pay for his cab.

While the promoter's girlfriend was being mugged, things at the apartment had taken a turn for the worst. It was now 5am, and the anime nerd was rolling around naked in the hallway of the promoter's apartment yelling "I'm on fire! I'm on fire!" The promoter had no idea what to do, so he called 911. The girlfriend got back from her misadventure in time to see the nerd being placed in the back of an ambulance.

Convinced that the cops were going to show up, she forced her boyfriend to flush all his LSD down a toilet.

Now, the promoter always makes sure he has some valium on hand when doing LSD with people.
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