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Friday October 1st, 2010
THE WET T-SHIRT GANGSTER



Once upon a time, the rave scene of our fair city lived under the vicious thumb of several biker gangs. The island of Montreal was carved into a patchwork of territories, each one controlled by rival criminal organizations. When a party promoter organized an event in an area controlled by the bikers, he'd get a visit from one of their low level members. This guy, and it was always a guy, would be the chaperone of a group of street dealers called 'The Syndicate'. He would tell the promoter in no uncertain terms that he and his friends were getting in for free, gave the promoter 10 pills for his friends and mentions that only they could sell drugs at the party and if anyone else were to do so they would have their fingers broken or worse.

One day, a particular biker and his retinue of dealers visited a tiny happy hardcore party that was being thrown by a minor, first time promoter. The biker, who looked like a creepier version of Ron Jeremy, barged his way through the line-up and told the people doing door duty that he wanted to talk to the promoter. They shrugged their shoulders, and called for the small time event planner who had organized the event.

The promoter and the gangster had a quick conversation, and a few minutes later four or five lily white dealers, most of them dressed like rejects from a Coolio music video, strutted into the party and stationed themselves close to the bathrooms. Their boss, meanwhile, gave himself VIP access to the event, and decided to hang out behind the water bar, where he rifled through the backpacks of the sales people.

One of the water bar volunteers, for reasons unknown, had a super soaker in his bag, and the gangster decided to steal it. He spent the rest of the party chasing down girls wearing white t-shirts, and spraying their with his stolen water gun. One 16 year old girl was so enamored with her middle aged, toy gun toting gangster that she dragged him to a quiet corner of the party....

And things got a little steamy.

The moral of the story is that, if you're a criminal, you can score with an underaged school girl if you spray water on her tits with a super soaker.
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