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Sunday November 28th, 2010
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CANDY, LITTLE GIRL?



Parents of a small suburban community are up in arms over one party promoter they claim is preying on their children. The thirty five year old event organizer apparently surrounds himself with a bevvy of underaged playthings that he recruits at the bashes he throws. Even sixteen years olds might be past their prime for this man, who obsesses over the underdeveloped.

There's something off about a guy in his thirties who hangs out with children, so when a neighborhood family man spotted the promoter at a park flirting with a bunch of young girls, he confronted him. This lead to a brief kerfuffle under the monkeybars, and ended with the event organizer on his back, face on the ground, sobbing like a baby. The party man didn't take kindly to getting his ass kicked in front of his darling dainties. He decided to reclaim his dignity by redoubling his efforts to corrupt the young lasses of the suburb.

Our intrepid promoter began throwing suburban raves every week. At first, he was throwing legitimate parties, but the cops kept shutting them down This didn't stop the man, it just drove his efforts underground. He started breaking into buildings and throwing squat parties. These weren't taking place in abandoned buildings, either. He threw one party at a high school gym and another party happened on the rooftop of a local bank. The events weren't massive affairs, and usually he'd be lucky to get a turnout of seventy five people, but they were big enough to serve his purpose -- to impress the underaged.

Teenagers aren't the most reliable people when it comes to keeping secrets. Eventually, parents found out about what this faginesque promoter was doing, and got the police involved. The parents wanted his head, but they probably won't get it. That's not to say the promoter isn't in trouble -- three of the girls who were regulars at his parties admitted to sleeping with the man, so he was facing multiple charges of statutory rape.

DNA evidence later showed that the parents made the whole story up because they were uncomfortable with their children hanging out with the perverted man. He is now suing for defamation of character.
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