A happy hardcore DJ was attacked at a house party this weekend. The DJ had been drinking with two friends when a young woman and her drug addicted boyfriend accosted the happy music man, and slammed a bottle of beer over his head. He stumbled under the shock of the attack before being piled into by the unhinged couple. Eventually, his friends managed to pull the attackers off of him.
Unfortunately for the trio, the entire house had decided to join in on the beat down, and soon the three men were being chased through the streets by a bunch of angry trustafarians who live in lofts that their parents pay for, and believe that studying politics at Concordia makes them rebels.
How a group of ravers wound up going to a party full of pretentious poli-sci students is a mystery, though the reason for the beat down they almost got at the hands of these single speed bicycle riding, Che Guevera t-shirt wearing "revolutionaries" is not. Apparently, the happy music maker once had a misguided fling with the young self-styled anarcho-feminist who attacked him. Instead of chocking up her youthful indiscretions to a bad decision -- and let's face it, sleeping with a happy hardcore DJ is never a good decision -- she decided to retroactively label their sexual congress an act of rape, a very serious accusation. The DJ adamantly denies the allegations, but the progressives who were at this party believe that folks are guilty until proven innocent, and that only accusers have a right to make a case.
Had the DJ been allowed to defend himself against his accuser, he would have informed the violent crowd of rich hippies that the sexual encounter that's at the heart of the accusations took place in a spectacularly public manner, that it was witnessed by several people who walked in on the couple while they were engaged in the sexual act, that the woman had complete freedom of movement and could have left at any point during the act in question, and that she never once indicated any displeasure with him while they were together. No violence occurred, no threats were uttered, she never said no, and both parties were conscious at the time of the incident. The DJs friends would have added, for good measure, that their friend was a wimp who couldn't win a fight with a corpse.
Eventually, the trio managed to escape their pursuers. Since then, the DJ has filed a report with the police, and will press charges against the woman if she ever attacks him again. He has told her if she's serious about her charges against him, she should bring them to the cops and let the courts decide his guilt. The DJ's friends, meanwhile, now believe that a man should never sleep with a feminist who hasn't signed a consent form.