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Thursday December 16th, 2010
FOOT MEETS BALLS



A radical feminist has been terrorizing the Montreal rave scene with her feets of rage.

She carries a copy of the SCUM Manifesto in her purse, and has loaded her iPhone with videos of angry misandrist ideologues calling for the total destruction of the male gender. She fancies herself to be Dworkin reincarnated, and when she's not busy worshiping at the altar of Valerie Solanas or anticipating the collapse of the patriarchy, she's running around with steel tipped boots looking for male crotches to crush.

Reports have been streaming in over the last few months of this anti-heroine's vigilante efforts against predatory male ravers. Whenever she spots a man getting out of hand at a party, she dives in foot first, and lands a good swift kick to her target's balls. She's meted out her brand of street justice to at least five of these hyper aggressive males. Her targets were all well deserving, according to witnesses. They where either gropers, misogynists, jocks, or douchebags with little to no regard for the boundaries or desires of the people in their company.

The men who have suffered through her wrath have all been too ashamed to lodge a complaint with the police. Their egos would shatter if they had to publicly acknowledge that a tiny little ball of feminist fire managed to beat them in a fight. She might play dirty and start with a kick to the nads, but she always gives the men a good minute or two to recover before she piles into them some more. From the people who've seen this woman strut her stuff, she could skip the ball kicking and go straight to the fist throwing and still beat her targets to within an inch of their life without breaking a sweat. Some folks have even gone so far as to say that these men are lucky all she's done is kick them in the balls.

"That girl is a hero, and more of us need to follow her lead," said one of woman who witnessed the vigilante in action last week. "There are far too many men out there who behave like pigs and are never get called out on it. Maybe if more of us started kicking men in the balls, they'd start treating us with more respect."

Would physically attacking men whenever they act inappropriately encourage them to grow up and start treating people with respect? Our lady warrior of the night seems to think so, and she might be right.

Men of the rave scene; don't go harassing women at the parties you attend, or you might just get your balls kicked in.
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